He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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