So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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