Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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