There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
