We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
