I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
