dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize