after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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