i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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