She is in my trunk
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
