I don't usually arrange sex via text message
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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