i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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