K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
