We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
