"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
