Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
