Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
