his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
