Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
