I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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