Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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