I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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