do herpes really smell.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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