we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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