So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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