I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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