me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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