the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
