just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
