when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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