she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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