My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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