gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
