I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
