quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
