Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
