3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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