Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
