it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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