I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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