I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
