Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
