You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
