i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
