This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
