This girl is more easily done than said...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
