I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
