I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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