While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So many bounce houses so little time
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize