i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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