i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
