part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
