My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
