she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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