is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize