There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
