He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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