do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
