I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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