so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
