I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
