I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
