but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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