okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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