mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Drake has all the answers
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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